Professions Jokes
A dentist walks into a pharmacy ...
... The pharmacist says: "Sorry, we don't serve painkillers."
What do you call a shoe that is also a burglar? ...
... Sneaker!
I want to be a mirror cleaner ...
... It's a job I can see myself doing!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away ...
... But you have to him them first!
Why did the butcher refuse to gamble? ...
... The "steaks" were too high!
Why did the scarecrow win an award ...
... It was outstanding in its "field"!
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine ...
... But "cats-can"!
What did the bullet say to its coworker? ...
... I got "fired"!
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? ...
... They taste funny!
A cowboy rounded up his 97 cows ...
... Now he has a hundred cows!
Why are actors told to "break a leg?" ...
... Every play needs a cast!
Why couldn't the sailor learn the alphabet? ...
... He always gets lost at "C"!
How do celebrities keep cool? ...
... They have "fans"!
How did the barber win the race? ...
... He knew a "shortcut"!
Patient: "Will I be able to play the piano after the operation in my hands?"
Doctor: Of course!
... Patient: That's good because I don't know how to play the piano!
How do farmers calculate? ...
... With a "cow-culator"!
The bird says to the bartender, ...
... "Put it on my bill!"
Why do golfers wear two pairs of socks? ...
... In case they get a hole in one!
Why was the koala hired? ...
... It has the necessary "koala-fications"!
What does a zombie lawyer charge? ...
... An arm and a leg!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? ...
... It wasn't "peeling" well!
Why do nurses need red colored pens? ...
... They need to draw blood!
What job do frogs have at hotels? ...
... "Bell-hop"!
Washing windows ...
... Is a "pane" in the ass!
Why did the biologist break up with the chemist? ...
... They have no chemistry!
What do you call a group of men queueing for a haircut? ...
... "Barber-que"!