Movie Jokes
What did the movie director say when he finished his burrito? ...
... That’s a wrap!
Netflix: Do you want to watch a 10-hour movie? ...
... Me: No way! Are you insane?
Netflix: How about I break up the movie into ten 1-hour episodes and you see them all in one sitting? ...
... Me: I am in!
Made love to the wife last night, just like they do in the movie ...
... I was fast, she was furious!
I heard Alec Baldwin is shooting another movie this year ...
... Hope he misses this time!
Most characters in the Harry Potter series were represented well in their transition from book to movie ...
... But Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed!
Say what you will about Die Hard, but it has the best ending for a Christmas movie ...
... Hans down!
If The Lion King was a cow movie instead, what would their leader be called? ...
... "Moo-fasa"!
The "Tetris" movie took a long time to make ...
... Every time they finished a line in the script, it disappeared!
“Lincoln” made almost $300 million in movie theatres. ...
... Shocking! Historically Lincoln doesn’t do too well in theatres!
I don't know what Black Panther 2 is all about ...
... I had no idea "Wakanda" movie it was!
My grandfather told us that all his assets were frozen ...
... Because he spent all his money buying "Frozen" DVDs!
What's the difference between Mike Myers and Michael Myers? ...
... Michael Myers starred in successful movies!
What's a good movie about a Groundhog Day style movie with Keanu Reeves as a teenager ...
... "John constant teen"!
What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? ...
... Icy dead people!
I liked the Green Mile but I didn't like the ending ...
... Terrible execution!
What was the movie "Superbad" originally about? ...
... A heart-warming tale about Lindsay Lohan's driving record!
What do you call a robot that always takes the longest route? ...
... "R2 detour"!
What does Drew Barrymore need to become a pop star? ...
... "Music and Lyrics"!
What happened to Matt Damon when he became religious? ...
... "Bourne" Again!
Who was James Bond's double in the movies? ...
... Agent 0014!
How was the Avengers Movie? ...
... It was "Marvel-ous"!
What do you call an overweight E.T.? ...
... Extra Cholesterol!
What is a cow's favourite movie? ...
... "Moo-lan"!
Haven't you noticed? ...
... No one on iCarly have a dad!
I don't want to sound racist ...
... But all "stormtroopers" look the same to me!
What movie would Woody Allen have wanted to do? ...
... "Father of the Bride"!
Do you remember when Billy Crystal took Meg Ryan out to dinner? ...
... When Harry "Fed" Sally!
Why couldn't Dorothy tell the bad witch from the good witch? ...
... She didn't know which witch was which!
Why do women like Tom Cruise? ...
... He's been in "A Few Good Men"!
Did you hear about the teacher who was fired for giving his students homework? ...
... It was called "Project X"!
What should you do if you see Russell Brand holding a guitar? ...
... "Get Him To The Greek"!
Why shouldn't you cyberbully creepy little girls? ...
... You might get "Unfriended"!
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece? ...
... "Troy" Story!
What do you get when you cross together a game and a disney movie? ...
... "Aladdin's Creed"!
What's a pirate's favorite Christmas movie? ...
... It's A "Plunderful" Life!
Al Pacino is to star in a new movie about a man who wins the World Knitting Championships ...
... Its called "Scarf-Ace"!
A lot of people think the movie "The 5th Element" is exciting ...
... But I think it's "boron"!
My girlfriend watched a couple of Kevin Hart movies ...
... now she believes she can "Think Like A Man Too"!
Is your dad Liam Neeson? ...
... Because I'm "Taken" with you!
When does Oliver Stone go to Dairy Queen? ...
... Any Given "Sundae"!
What is the difference between Slumdog Millionaire and Slimeball Billionaire? ...
... Slimeball Billionaire is a movie about Bernard Madoff!
What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig? ...
... Being banned from the Muppet Show!
What movie is about a pizza maker bitten by a spider? ...
... "Spi-dough-man"!
Jack Black doesn't always make scary movies ...
... but when he does, it gives him "Goosebumps"!
What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor? ...
... "Trans-farmer"!
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? ...
... "2 Fast 2 Curious"!
Why did Tom Cruise stop climbing the cliff?
... It was "Mission: Impossible"!
What Jedi can you eat? ...
... Obi Wan "Cannoli"!
I won't watch a Nicolas Cage movie ...
... Unless it's done in 60 seconds!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? ...
... It was an "Oscar Wiener"!
Why did the Jedi cross the road? ...
... To go to the "Dark Side"!
What did Mark Wahlberg feed Ted? ...
... Nothing, he was already "stuffed"!
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's new movie? ...
... It's rated "Arrrrrrrr"!
Why shouldn't Tom Cruise marry? ...
... Marriage is a "Risky Business"!
What does RIP stand for in district 11? ...
... Rue Is Perfect!
How did Will Smith steal $10 from millions of people? ...
... All he had to do was "Focus"!
What's a bee's favorite Disney movie? ...
... Beauty And The "Bees"!
What is the most unrealistic part of the newest James Bond movie? ...
... A Brit with a full petrol tank!
I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris. Turns out that idea was "taken". I then had another idea for a movie where the same agent is kidnapped with his ex-wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was "taken too" ...
... Everything's "taken"!
Who is the British Secret Service's best yellow-haired spy? ...
... "James Blonde"!
Did you hear about the Minecraft movie? ...
... It’s a "block-buster"!
What is Gordon Ramsay's least favorite movie? ...
... "Frozen"!
Is your name Ariel? ...
... I think we "mer-maid" for each other!
I would like to appear on Celebrity Apprentice with Arnold Schwarzenegger ...
... but I don't want to be "Terminated"!
How did Reese eat her ice cream? ...
... "Wit-her-spoon"!
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? ...
... Because she will "let it go"!
What’s a climate activist’s favourite movie? ...
... "Mad-at-gas-car"!
What do you tell Simba when he's moving too slow? ...
... "Mu-fasa"!
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? ...
... "Guardians of the Galaxy"!
My partner asked if I want to watch "Dr. Strange" tonight, but I said no ...
... I had "Stranger Things" to watch!