Animals Jokes
What animal gets you wet? ...
... "Rain-deer"?
An insect you put in your bread is? ...
... "Butter-fly"?
What fish is a celebrity? ...
... Starfish!
What animal is a part of your body? ...
... Bat!
What insect lives in your computer? ...
... Bug!
What animal is expensive and close to your heart? ...
... Deer!
What animal rises when heated? ...
... Doe!
What is a sad whale? ...
... "Blue" whale!
Name a fish in the sky ...
... Flyingfish!
A very funny fish ...
... Clownfish!
Name a fish with wings ...
... Angelfish!
Name an expensive fish? ...
... Goldfish!
A customer orders a dozen bees from a pet shop but receives 13 bees. He asked the clerk why ...
... The clerk replied: "It's a 'free-bee'!"
Who don't ants get sick? ...
... They have "anty-bodies"!
Why did the fish blush ...
... It saw the ocean "bottom"!
Cow Jokes? ...
... "Herd" them already!
What's a bee's favorite novel? ...
... The Great "Gats-bee"?
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine ...
... But "cats-can"!
What is a chicken's favorite subject? ...
... "Egg-onomics"!
What animal keeps the best time? ...
... A watch dog!
What is a puppy dog's favorite pizza? ...
... "Pup-peroni"!
Why are cats the best pets? ...
... They're "purr-fect"!
What do you call the horse that lives next door? ...
... "Neigh-bor"!
What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything?...
... Tyrannosaurus "Wrecks"!
What did one owl say to another on Valentine's Day? ...
... "Owl" be yours forever!
What has 2,000 eyes and 4,000 legs? ...
... 1,000 dogs!
Two goldfishes are on a tank. One of the goldfish asks: ...
... Do you know how to drive this tank?
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 meters long? ...
... A "pi-thon"!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? ...
... "Fsh"!
I asked my dog what's two plus two? ...
... It said nothing!
A cowboy rounded up his 97 cows ...
... Now he has a hundred cows!
Why couldn't the pony sing a song? ...
... She was a little "horse"!
What do you call a sleeping bull? ...
... A "bull-dozer"!
How do you ge a squirrel to like you? ...
... Act like a nut!
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? ...
... "Dam!"
What do you call a cow with a twitch? ...
... Beef Jerky!
How do farmers calculate? ...
... With a "cow-culator"!
What do you call a pig who knows karate? ...
... Pork Chop!
The bird says to the bartender, ...
... "Put it on my bill!"
Why can't a leopard hide? ...
... It's always spotted!
Why was the koala hired? ...
... It has the necessary "koala-fications"!
What do you get when you put 3 ducks in a box? ...
... A box of "quackers"!
My husband told me to stop acting like a flamingo ...
... So I had to put my foot down!
Why do dragons sleep at daytime? ...
... So they can fight "knights"!
What did the bufallo say to its son when it left? ...
... Bison!
What do you call an illegally parked frog? ...
... Toad!
Why can't you trust a pig with your secrets? ...
... They always squeal!
What did the tree say to the dog? ...
... Nothing, it just "barked"!
Who don't eggs tell jokes? ...
... They'd crack up!
Why was the cow afraid? ...
... It was a "cow-ard"!
Why are crabs bad at sharing! ...
... They're "shellfish!"
Why are frogs always happy? ...
... They eat what "bugs" them!
Did you know about the cow who lost it's left side? ...
... It's all right now!
What do you call a bee from the US? ...
... USB!
What job do frogs have at hotels? ...
... "Bell-hop"!
How do you communicate with a fish? ...
... Drop them a line!
What do you call an exploding duck? ...
... "Fire-quacker"!
What did the animal ask you? ...
... Can I "tail" you something?