Dog Jokes
What did the dog say to Woody after swallowing Buzz Lightyear? ...
... You got a friend in me.
Ducks always try to bite my dog ...
... Because it's a "pure-bread"!
What should you feed a dog when it has a fever? ...
... Mustard, it’s the best thing for hot dogs.
What do you call a dog that doesn't have any legs? ...
... It doesn’t matter! It still won't come when you call its name.
Why are dogs scared of Redwood trees? ...
... They have the biggest "bark"!
What happens if you connect a Corgi to a battery? ...
... Short circuit!
What do you get if you breed a dog and a lion? ...
... I don't know, but I'll definitely stay away from it!
Why did the man cook his dog pancakes? ...
... His dog coudn't cook!
How do you know if a dog is slow? ...
... It chases parked cars.
Why are Corgi jokes not funny? ...
... They're short!
Where do dogs park their cars? ...
... At the "barking" lot!
What do you get when you breed a frog and a dog? ...
... "Croaker" Spaniel!
What is worse than raining cats and dogs? ...
... Hailing taxis!
What do you call a sleeping Doberman? ...
... Anything! Just speak silently!
Why did the police issue a ticket to the mother dog and her puppies? ...
... She was "littering"!
What do you call a quiet dog? ...
... "Hush-puppy"!
What do you get when you breed a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle, and a Rooster? ...
... "Cocker-poodle-doo"!
Why did they put butter on the small dog? ...
... It's was a "pup-corn"!
Our dog brings us the newspaper everyday ...
... But we never subscribed to any!
What is a dog's favorite remote control button? ...
... "Paws" button!
What do you get when you breed a dog and a cheetah? ...
... A dog that can actually catch up with a deer!"
Why did the dog slather itself with ketchup? ...
... It was a "hot-dog"!
Why do dogs love smartphones? ...
... It has "collar-ID"!
What do you get if you breed a sheepdog with a rose? ...
... "Collie-flower"!
What did Darth Vader say to the dog? ...
... Join the "bark" side!
What is better than a talking dog? ...
... A spelling bee!
Why do dog run in circles? ...
... Because they can't run in squares!
What dog wears a watch? ...
... A watchdog!
What kind of markets do dogs despise? ...
... Flea markets!
What is draculas dog? ...
... Bloodhound!
Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? ...
... Because they can't bury them in trees!
Why was the dog always fighting? ...
... It was a Boxer!
How are UK dog catchers paid? ...
... By the "pound"!
What do you peel of a "dog tree"? ...
... Bark!
What do you get when you breed a computer memory and a rabid dog? ...
... A lot of "bites"!
What do dogs get after they graduate obedience school? ...
... Their "Masters" degree!
What happened to the dog when it saw a monster? ...
... It was "terrier-fied"!
Why are dogs terrible dancers? ...
... They have two left feet!
Why did the man name his dog "Frost"? ...
... Because "Frost-bites"!
What dog is spicy? ...
... "Chili-dog"!
What dog can you find in a Spanish arena? ...
... "Bull-dog"!