Valentines Day Jokes
During Valentine's Day, we do our best to touch the hearts of the ones we love. We plan the perfect date, gift, and even cook their favorite food.
But sometimes, the perfect Valentine's Day gift is by putting a smile and even laughter in the faces of your loved ones, and jokes are perfect for such purposes.
These jokes would put a smile and even a laugh on the face of your loved ones, whether it be posted in their social media page or written in their Valentine's Day card.
so brigthen up your loved ones' day not only during Valentine's Day but everyday of the year with these humurous Valentine's Day jokes.
Jokes:
"How did the whale ask the other whale on a Valentine's date?"...
... "Whale you be mine?"
"What do you call a ghost's sweetheart?"...
... "A ghoul-friend."
"What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day?"...
... "You're purr-fect for me."
"What did one sheep say to the other on February 14?"...
... "I love ewe."
"How much candy do you hope to get this Valentine's Day?"...
... "A choco-LOT!"
"What did one flame say to another on Valentine's Day?"...
... "We're a perfect match."
"How did the phone propose to his GF?"...
... "He gave her a ring."
"What do you call a Valentine's Day gift that didn't arrive time?"...
... "Choco-late."
"What did one bee say to the other?"...
... "I love bee-ing with you, honey!"
"What did one volcano say to the other?"...
... "I lava you."
"What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine's Day?"...
... "I love you berry much."
"What did the cucumber say to the pickle?"...
... "You mean a great dill to me."
"What did one watermelon say to the other?"...
... "You're one in a melon!"
"What do you call a very small Valentine?"...
... "A valen-tiny."
"What did the ghost say to his valentine?"...
... "You look so BOOtiful."
"If he doesn't appreciate your fruit jokes,...
... you need to let that mango."
"
What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day?"...
... "Lots of hogs and kisses."
"What did the light bulb say to the other light bulb?"...
... "You light my world up."
"How can you get arrested on Valentine's Day?"...
... "For stealing someone's heart."
"I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture....
... But when I got home the tables were turned."
"I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels....
... They didn’t know I existed."
"What did the calculator say to the pencil?"...
... "You can count on me."
"How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?"...
... "He gave her a ring!"
"What did one oar tell the other oar?"...
... "This is so row-mantic!"
"What's Cupid's favorite band?"...
... "Kiss!"
"Why did the sheriff lock up their valentine?"...
... "She stole their heart."
"What do you call two birds in love?"...
... "Tweethearts!"
"What did the scientist say to her valentine?"...
... "I think of you periodically."
"How can you tell when a squirrel is in love?"...
... "It goes nuts!"
"What do you write in a slug's Valentine's Day card?"...
... "Be my Valen-slime!"
"What did the paper clip say to the magnet?"...
... "I find you very attractive."
"Why did the husband get his wife a kitten for Valentine's Day?"...
... "He thought it was the purrfect present.
"What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?"...
... "I’m stuck on you!"
"Why didn’t the skeleton want to send any Valentine’s Day cards?"...
... "His heart wasn’t in it."
"Why should you date a goalie?"...
... "He's a keeper."
"What did the painter tell his girlfriend?"...
... "I love you with all my art."
"What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine?"...
... "I have a crutch on you."
"How did the squirrel get his Valentine's attention?"...
... "He acted like a nut."
"How do you keep a jewelry store save on Valentine's Day?"...
... "You locket."
"What do you call sweets that can keep a beat?"...
... "Candy rappers."
"What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium?"...
... "Guppy love."
"How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine's Day?"...
... "If it's love at first bite."
"Why shouldn't you trust a pastry chef on Valentine's Day?"...
... "Because he'll dessert you."
"What do you give your Valentine in France?"...
... "A big quiche."
"What do you tell a pig on February 14?"...
... "Happy Valen-swine's Day!"
"Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?"...
... "Yes, it's February 14."
"What did the tortoise say on Valentine's Day?"...
... "I turt-ally love you."
Valentine's Day Knock-Knock Jokes
"Knock, knock."
... "Who's there?"
"Howard."
... "Howard who?"
"Howard you like a big kiss?"
"Knock, knock."
... "Who's there?"
"Bea."
... "Bea who?"
"Bea my Valentine!"
"Knock, knock."
... "Who's there?"
"Butch, Jimmy and Joe."
... "Butch, Jimmy, and Joe who?"
"Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let's Joe."
"Knock, knock."
... "Who's there?"
"Disguise."
... "Disguise who?"
"Disguise is your boy friend!"
"Knock knock."
... "Who's there?"
"Olive."
... "Olive who?"
"Olive you!"
"Knock, knock."
... "Who's there?"
"Peas."
... "Peas who?"