Why Do People Dislike You Almost Instantly?
Most people don’t dislike other people instantly. Usually, people reserve their judgement upon meeting a person for the first time and then wait to know a person a little more before deciding to consciously or unconsciously like or dislike them.
However, there are just some people who seem to gather instant dislikes from people around them by their mere looks and mannerisms. You might be such a person who is instantly disliked by people around you and might even not know it.
For example, you might be a noisy chewer of food due to your dentures. But this would be enough for many people to grow an instant dislike of you even though they know that you are having problems with your dentures.
There are many reasons why people would dislike you instantly and this article although lengthy already, cannot possibly enumerate them all. You might even be unaware of them because they are already a part of your character for a long time.
But for the most part, you already know the reasons why people dislike you almost instantly and may have just forgotten them. Here are some of the reasons which you might have just forgotten only:
CALLING PEOPLE NAMES BESIDES THEIR REAL NAME
Make no mistake about it, even though people might not like their name, people still like to be called by their real name and not some other name. Even close friends turn to enemies if a friend starts calling their other friend names beside their real name.
People think you are insulting them. This especially applies if you call people by negative names. For example, you might call a person “Whitey” in response to his caucasian skin, but this might cause the person to instantly dislike you although to you this might seem like an innocent comment.
You might think that people would like you if you compliment them when compliment isn’t appropriate. You might call a fat woman “sexy” as a compliment but she might instantly think that you’re insulting her fatness.
People might also think that you have forgotten their name if you call them by other names. These people might think that their name and even they themselves are unimportant to you. This might make them resentful of you.
OVERLY NODDING AND/OR AGGREEING
These two mannerisms are a sign that you might not be listening intently to what people are saying to you. Many people get irritated of other people when they get a sense that they are just faking understanding to what people are saying.
It could also mean that you are not really interested in the person who is talking to you and are only nodding and agreeing just to fake pleasantries. The person talking to you might feel insulted and even feel betrayed that they don’t only dislike you but even develop a hatred of you.
And you know why people might feel this way towards you? This is because most people know that no one agrees with them all the time. Only unthinking people don’t realize this reality in our society.
When people agree with you all the time it’s either they don’t care or want to get in your favor. You won’t likely want these kind of people in your life: People who don’t care about you or people who want to take advantage of you.
FORCING A SMILE
Most people can determine if you’re just forcing a smile out of pleasantries. If someone had ever forced themselves to smile at you, you would instantly realize how horrible a forced smile can be. You might feel irritated, insulted or even angered when someone does it to you.
This is because people would conclude that you don’t like their company and they would also react in the same fashion: also forcing a smile on you. People don’t like to feel rejected by other people. People who feel rejected usually feel hatred for the people who rejected them.
People would also conclude that you are a hypocrite. No one likes a hypocrite. People deem hypocrites as people who cannot be trusted, and people don’t especially like people who can’t be trusted.
As you can see, your reputation just got from bad to worse. Your reputation in a split second worsened from just being a hypocrite to being an untrustworthy person, and no one wants to be friends with an untrustworthy person.
So stop forcing a smile but don’t frown either. Just be neutral looking when someone approaches you. You can actually acknowledge people without the need to smile. In fact, a neutral face gives out the aura that you are not to be taken lightly.
This is because most people know that you can’t like all people and situations all the time. Politicians, sales people and other people facing professionals usually have to force a smile on their clients. And we know the result of this, politicians and sales people are usually branded as untrustworthy people.
ENGAGE ONLY IN SMALL TALK
This is because there are people who prefer meaningful talks over meaningless banter. If you conduct meaningless banter with someone, they think that they have nothing meaningful to gain from you and are just passing time. Meaningful people hate wasting time by just passing time.
This especially applies to smart, serious and busy people who are one of the most ideal people to be with if you want to boost your life. Small talk bore these people and they would likely leave you in a heartbeat.
People would know how deep you are as a person when you are able to engage in meaningful talk with them. People who don’t value meaningful talk are usually shallow people whom you should keep your distance from.
This is because people want to learn something meaningful from other people and other people just want idle talk. So, which kind of people would you rather have as company? People who have something meaningful to say or people who just talk idly?
TOO FRIENDLY AND TOO PERSONAL
These are people who act like they are your best friend or have known you for a long time when they’re not. You could have just met them a minute ago and they’re already demanding personal information from you which could be unnerving.
If you do this, people would think you’re trying to get on their good side and have something ulterior in mind. Again, the issue of trust surfaces. People don’t like to trust people whom they think are trying to take advantage of them.
Have you met someone who make liberties of you and your possessions? Like touching your shoulder or borrowing your smartphone/cellphone when you don’t even know their name? For example, had you had guests in your home who don’t think going in your bedroom is being intrusive?
Being too comfortable at someone’s home signifies you don’t respect their boundaries. For example, the very way you seat yourself in someone’s sofa can offend someone. This applies to men who by their very physical design usually spread their legs, some more than others.
POOR HYGIENE
I think everyone agrees that no one likes a person who smells. There are even people who are so sensitive with bad smells that they gag and cough the minute they smell one. There have been smelly people who have been driven away by other people just for the mere fact that they smell.
To a lesser but equally serious degree, people also hate dirty people. It is no secret that most people don’t like and even distance themselves from the homeless, beggars and other people living in the street. This might seem unfair but people don’t want to become dirty.
You might not like the reality, but people do judge other people by their looks. Most people trust clean looking people. This is because people who look clean appear to be agreeable and trustworthy.
When people see you dirty especially if you have no excuse for being dirty, like being dirty from your job or chores, people think you are lazy and therefore someone they should distance themselves with and even ignore.
At worse, people think you may be mentally ill. This is because mentally ill people usually don’t take care of themselves which they outwardly show by not cleaning themselves. People don’t usually want to associate with mentally ill people because of the social stigma attached to them.
HUMBLE BRAGGING
The name might sound confusing but it is simply defined as “pretending to be humble but actually boasting.” For example, the simple expression: “I’m just a millionaire and not a billionaire yet” can be contrived as humble bragging.
When you do this, you come out as both a braggart and an insincere person. You might be forgiven from being a braggart but you might not be forgiven by people for being an insincere person.
People want other people they can trust and not someone whom they might perceive as insincere. People might even think that you are insulting them especially in the issues of physical looks and wealth. These are two subjects people can be very touchy of.
At worse, people think you’re making a fool of them by trying to insult their intelligence. Most people can realize the difference between humble bragging and humility. For example, in our previous example of: “I’m just a millionaire and not a billionaire yet.”
These words can be rephrased for example like: “I have enough money to indulge in some luxuries.” These are deep meaning words and subject to many interpretations, but in no way do these words brag that the speaker is a millionaire aspiring to be a billionaire.
Still, the speaker is honest enough to tell that they indeed have money which is enough for them to indulge in some luxuries. The speaker does not hide the fact that they do indeed have money and probably a lot.
Also, don’t forget that bragging by itself is already bad. No one likes a braggart but occasionally even the most humble people slip and brag. In these cases, people who know them mostly let it slip because they know the true personality of the humble person.
FAKE COMPLIMENTS
Many people think you are making fun of them if you give them fake compliments. Have you ever met someone who instantly says you’re a good person even though it’s the first time they’ve ever seen you?
Most people would think that this person just wanna be on their good side. Another fake compliment example could be when someone says to you: “Good Job” when its apparent you did a sloppy job.
Though the compliment might be well meaning, most people know when they do actually deserve a compliment. People would think that you’re being a dishonest person just to please them which could mean that you have ulterior motives.
To be honest, real compliments to anyone can be a hit or miss thing. You might be honestly voicing out what you think when you made a compliment but the recipient might think differently. That’s why you should be very reserved when giving out compliments.
EXCESSIVE SHARING
This is a sign that someone desperately wants attention especially in social media. Do you feel irritated when someone seems to flood your social media account with insignificant details of their life?
This person probably doesn’t realize that they are violating the time of other people by flooding them with insignificant posts or stories of their life. This is probably why for example, many people are turning away from social media apps like Facebook.
But all these people’s sharing both in social media and in-person could be a shoutout for attention or bragging which many people don’t like. In fact, people mostly post their best details in social media and not their worse which could signify that someone is deceitful.
Many people don’t want to know every detail of your life including your successes and problems. Only gossipers are interested in knowing the complete lives of other people, and many people don’t like gossipers.
Also, people think they can’t trust you with their secrets. If you are willing to bare even the most personal and intimate details of your life in social media, what’s stopping you from posting in social media the most personal and intimate details you know of other people.
EXCESSIVE TALKING AND BUTTING IN
People think you don’t respect them if you constantly interrupt them while they’re speaking. For example, you might irritate someone when you constantly interrupt them while they are teaching or doing a speech.
People would likely think that you have no etiquette or manners. This is because there is an unwritten rule in society that you don’t interrupt someone unless you have something important to say. You let people finish talking first.
You might be perceived as a very dominating person. While being a dominant person is actually beneficial in some professions in life like sales, managing, military and so on, no one actually wants to be dominated by another person.
If you really need to, you could actually interrupt someone from talking by using less intrusive methods like raising your hand and waiting for someone to finish talking before you actually start talking.
A KILLJOY
Many people don’t want to feel the sensation of being sad, frightened, uneasy and so on. This is the reason why many people stay away from killjoys. By definition, a killjoy is a person who extinguishes the lively mood of another person or group.
For example, people might be watching their favorite sport like basketball, football, soccer and so on and then someone interrupts by stating that sports is a useless activity where athletes suffer debilitating injuries and death.
Although this person is telling the truth about sports, this person would likely be branded a killjoy and is ignored or even driven out. Most people don’t care about the realities of some things in life and just want to enjoy what life brings as much as they can.
Unfortunately, this is the reality of humanity and this is not likely to change anytime soon. So, if you have a tendency to be a killjoy, better keep your thoughts to yourself. Usually, the truth hurts that is why people simply choose not hear about it.
A NOISY PERSON
Have you ever encountered a person or a group in a party or any public place whose voices are so loud that everyone hears them and instantly dislikes them? Chances are that you have met such a person or a group.
People who hear them wonder why they have to speak or laugh so loud that their loud voices literally drown out all the other voices in a public place. This is because most people don’t want to hear other sounds/noises unless it’s the sound they’re making by themselves.
This is especially true in public places where silence needs to be observed as a common courtesy to the other people in the public place. These places could be such places as libraries, movie theaters and so on.
People who raise their voices or are unnecessarily loud are perceived to be dominating or insensitive people who have little regard for the other people within their vicinity. Others might even think that they are trying to harass the other people around them.
FINAL WORDS
There are a lot of reasons why people instantly dislike other people they just met or have contacts with for only a short time. If you realize that people seem to be avoiding your company, it’s best to take a hard good look at yourself.
While being avoided by many people is not a sign sure sign that you have personality problems, chances are that you have at least a few that you can improve. You could begin by treating other people the way you wanted to be treated yourself.
For example, by being a very humble and trustworthy person, you would find people who would also show you humility and trustworthiness. The same can be true for being a boastful. People who like to boast would likely find people who would also boast in their faces.
You might also like to read the article:
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