Should I Get Married? 8 Questions to Consider
Having seen a lot of people get married over the years and start a family, I can definitely say that being married can do wonders for your social life.In fact, being married and having a family is still considered one of the biggest and most important stage in your life.
Also, a considerable number of people stay married rather than divorce. The divorce rate in the world is a mere 1.8 persons per 1,000 persons.
Based from this figure alone, being married is a global thing. But should you really get married? Here are eight questions to consider:
8 Questions to Consider Before Getting Married:
1. Are You Just Trying to Solve Your Relationship Problems?2. Are You Scared of Ending Up Alone?
3. Are You Being Pressured Into Marriage?
4. Do You Want to Get Married Just for Convenience?
5. Are You Ready For Confrontations?
6. Do You and Your Partner Think Alike?
7. Are You Friends With Your Partner?
8. Do You Feel That Getting Married is an Obligation?
Final Words
The Details:
1. Are You Just Trying to Solve Your Relationship Problems?
If you are having relationship problems, don’t try to solve it by getting married. This is usually what men resort to if their partner threatens to leave them.
Being married won’t solve your troubled relationship. In fact, it may even worsen it. This is because if your troubled relationship turns out to be unsolvable, there is no legally getting out of your relationship except for a divorce.
What you should be doing is to get down to the root causes of your relationship problems and solve them before committing much more to each other.
If you are able to solve your relationship problems, then and only then should you consider getting married.
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2. Are You Scared of Ending Up Alone?
People who have remained single for a long time are especially prone to considering this question.
This is because as time goes by, more and more of your loved ones and friends become married and start families. They also are mostly getting distant from you because of their marriages and families.
As a result you feel left out and soon feel a need to be married and have a family yourself. But if your intention is to get married just because you are scared of being alone one day, you might ultimately regret it.
Not all people are marriage material. Some people really enjoy being single but just don’t want to end up being alone.
Instead of rushing into marriage, you should first aspire to have companionship. You might attain this through your family, loved ones and friends.
There are people who rush into marriage and end up regretting losing their loss of individual privacy. Consider this if you ever think of substituting companionship with marriage.
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3. Are You Being Pressured Into Marriage?
Are you constantly being chided/teased by your family and married friends to get married yourself? This especially happens to people whose family and friends are mostly married.
Some might warn you that you are not getting any younger and you might soon end up one day as an old maid or as a bachelor.
But don’t succumb to the pressure of your family and friends or you might end up regretting it. Its like signing a contract even before you have read it. You might end up missing important details which could significantly affect your entire life.
Don’t fall into a situation where you settle for someone out of peer pressure only to end up later finding the right one for you, but by this time its already too late.
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4. Do You Want to Get Married Just for Convenience?
There are people who get married for money, to become a citizen of a country they like, to be able to share living costs with someone, and so on.
All of these previously mentioned reasons are called “marriage for convenience”. This is because you are getting married to make your life more convenient.
But don’t get married out of convenience. Usually, the reasons why you want to get married for convenience can be had without getting married at all.
For example, if you are marrying for money’s sake, you can alternately find other ways of having money and become rich without getting married.
Others who marry for convenience soon realize that their marriage feels like a cage where they have the things they want but are trapped in a marriage that they don’t like.
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5. Are You Ready For Confrontations?
Even before you get married, you should be aware that marriage is full of confrontations. You and your partner would confront each other with such major issues such as finances, personal habits up to mundane things like which meal to cook or what shows to watch on television.
Confrontation is such a big part of married life that people even have ended up in divorce or even jail just because they can’t handle their confrontations.
If you are bad at confrontations, you might want to practice your confrontation skills first with your family and friends before even thinking of getting married.
But, if you and your partner can smoothen up even your most serious confrontations, it might be a good sign that you are made for each other. This is a good sign that you may be ready for marriage after all.
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6. Do You and Your Partner Think Alike?
People who think alike usually become good friends and even marry each other. For example, you might find your partner in church, in a game, in a convention, a concert, and so on.
Usually, when the two of you are interested in the same thing, you end up talking with each other a lot.
Also, if you think the same or very similar to each other, you won’t likely argue and even enjoy each other’s company.
All of these likemindedness and similarities make you want to be with each other’s company for long periods of time, even up to the point of being married for a very long time.
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7. Are You Friends With Your Partner?
Perhaps this is the greatest criteria in getting married: to be a friend to your partner. A lot of couples first start out as friends before becoming couples.
Being friends with the person you are married to is especially very important when your marriage has lasted for decades already.
This is because by then, all the passion and romance in your message would have disappeared already and would have been replaced either by friendship and/or companionship.
Also, couples can get divorced, but if they still care about each other, they can still remain as friends. In fact, there are divorced couples who remarried each other because of their friendship.
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8. Do You Feel That Getting Married is an Obligation?
There are couples who have fantastic lifelong relationships even though they are not married. Marriage is not a prerequisite for showing your love to someone. It is not an obligation, although it is one of the best ways of showing your love to someone.
In fact, many good relationships have been destroyed by a marriage proposal. This is because there are just people who want love without the option of marriage.
It could also be that your relationship has existed for a very long time already that you feel obligated to bring out the subject of marriage.
Bringing up the subject of marriage is a tricky thing especially if your partner is enjoying your relationship but is not committed to being tied down. You might want to slowly ease up your partner regarding the subject of marriage or they might end their relationship with you abruptly.
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Final Words
Marriage is a wonderful thing. In fact, there are far more people who are staying married than getting divorced.
But don’t rush into marriage just because for example, you are feeling alone or are being pressured to get married by your family and friends.
Get married because you and your partner are ready to get married. This might mean that you can smoothen out your confrontations with each other, have the same thinking, and most importantly, are good friends with each other.
Remember, marriage is a legal contract and failing to abide by the legal rules of marriage can land you into a lot of problems.
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